You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
