im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I want her autograph on my taint
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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