did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
