Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
