Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
