Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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