The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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