I just threw up on my dentist
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
