I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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