the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
