how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
