K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
