She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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