Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
