he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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