i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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