i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
