being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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