Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
