the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
