Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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