whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
