I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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