I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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