he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
