do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
