So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize