just come out here and I will go home with you...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
