Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
