Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
