Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
