Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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