I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
