did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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