No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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