So drunk its hurt
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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