At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
