New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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