then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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