I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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