when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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