"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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