wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
