U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
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well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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