all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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