You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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