Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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