he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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