I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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