wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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