It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
