just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize