it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
50% drunk capacity currently
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
