We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
