It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
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One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
pray to the hookup gods
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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