There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
