It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
