someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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