but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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